Because I am a vessel I know that I am bound to get a crack, crevice or even a broken section off me so there is this glue I carry around with me. The label reads ‘permanent glue’ so I trust that when I use it, the fix is instant and of course permanent.
The moment I see the crack, I let out the glue and pour a generous amount and the fix is instant. After sometime the crack begins to open up and so I use more glue and ignore the fact that the label read, ‘permanent’ yet what I see are temporary results.
After a while, the crack begins to crumble because no amount of glue is sufficient, so I am stuck in what looks like a sticky situation.
I should have thought of this earlier yet I couldn’t, I was too caught up in piecing myself together that I forgot I could consult the Maker of this vessel, He beholds the manual yet I felt I could do a better job, a faster one at that. Faster because even after being told to wait, I didn’t. Even after being told to trust, I placed much of that trust on myself than the maker of me.
I know faith is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see (Hebrew 11:1), yet I forget very fast when I see that broken piece on me that needs fixing. I also forget that the numerous attempts I have tried to fix the broken parts, are all failed attempts.
I am tired of myself at this point to the point where, if I was face to face with myself, I would just pounce on myself and give her a thorough black and blue beating. I guess this is what they mean when they say the flesh condemns you whilst the Spirit of the Lord convicts you because in as much as I feel like slapping myself all the way to judgment day and get it over with, the Spirit of the Lord is teaching me in truth and in love and I am learning.
So as I am being renewed of my heart, Spirit and mind, daily, I am aware that I am a child of weakness and my strength indeed is small so I am bound to forget especially in the heat of the moment, I am bound to trust on self even after knowing that I will fail but I am not bound to staying this way forever because as I am being transformed, I learn to put my all in all on Jesus Christ.